The Less Interesting TimesSpeculating About the Future

2009/02/15 Motivator 5 – It Was a Long Time Coming

2009/02/13 Memo: Cursing at Work

Dear Employees: It has been brought to management’s attention that some individuals throughout the company have been using foul language during the course of normal conversation with their co-workers. Due to complaints received from some employees who may be easily offended, this type of language will no longer be tolerated. Therefore, a list of 18 new and innovative “TRY SAYING” phrases have been provided so that proper exchange of ideas and information can continue in an effective manner. TRY SAYING: I think you could use more training. INSTEAD OF: You don’t know what the fuck you’re doing. TRY SAYING: She’s an aggressive go-getter. INSTEAD OF: She’s a fucking bitch. TRY SAYING: Perhaps I can work late. INSTEAD OF: And when the fuck do you expect me to do this? TRY SAYING: I’m certain that isn’t feasible. INSTEAD OF: No fucking way. TRY SAYING: Really? INSTEAD OF: You’ve got to be shitting me! TRY SAYING: Perhaps you should check with… INSTEAD OF: Tell someone who gives a shit. TRY SAYING: I wasn’t involved in the project. INSTEAD OF: It’s not my fucking problem. TRY SAYING: That’s interesting. INSTEAD OF: What the fuck? TRY SAYING: I’m not sure this can be implemented. INSTEAD OF: This shit won’t work. TRY SAYING: I’ll try to schedule that. INSTEAD OF: Why the fuck didn’t you tell me sooner? TRY SAYING: He’s not familiar with the issues. INSTEAD OF: He’s got his head up his ass. TRY SAYING: Excuse me, sir? INSTEAD OF: Eat shit and Continue Reading →