The Less Interesting TimesTemporality Just Gets in the Way

2007/01/05 גם אני קיבלתי!

לפני שבוע, יעל קיבלה עוקץ ניגרי. היא החליטה להשתעשע איתו ואז מישהו נתן קישור לאתר הזה, בו מתעללים ברמאים ושרלטנים באינטרנט. ואני חשבתי לעצמי, למה כולם נהנים ואני לא?

אז היום קיבלתי מכתב והנה הוא לפניכם…

Good Day,
It is understandable that you might be a little bit apprehensive because you do not know me but I have a lucrative business proposal of mutual interest to share with you. Let me start by introducing myself. I am Mr. Chen Guangyuan operations manager of the Bank of China (Hongkong), Shop 1021, United Centre, 95 Queensway, Hong Kong. I have an obscured business suggestion for you.

Before the U.S and Iraqi war our client Hamadi Hashem who was with the Iraqi forces and also business man made a numbered fixed deposit for 24 calendar months, with a value of Seventeen million three Hundred Thousand United State Dollars (US$17,300,000.00) only in my branch.
Upon maturity several notices was sent to him, even during the war early last year. Again after the war another notification was sent and still no one response came from him. We later find out that Hamadi Hashem and his family had been killed during the war in bomb blast that hit their home at Mukaradeeb.

After further investigation it was also discovered that Hamadi Hashem did not declare any next of kin in his official papers including the paper work of his bank deposit. And he also confided in me the last time he was at my office that no one except me knew of his deposit in my bank. So, Seventeen million three Hundred Thousand United State Dollars is still lying in my bank and no one will ever come forward to claim it.
What bothers me most is that according to the laws of my country at the expiration six {6} years the funds will revert to the ownership of the Hong Kong Government if nobody applies to claim the funds. Against this backdrop, my suggestion to you is that I will like you as a foreigner to stand as the next of kin to Hamadi Hashem so that you will be able to receive his funds.

MODALITIES:
I want you to know that I have had everything planned out so that we shall come out successful. I have an attorney that will prepare the necessary document that will back you up as the next of kin to Hamadi Hashem, all that is required from you is to provide me with your Full
Names and Address so that the attorney can commence his job. After you have been made the next of kin, the attorney will also fill in for claims on your behalf and secure the necessary approval and letter of probate in your favour for the movement of the funds to an account that will be
provided by you. We are going adopt a legalized method and the attorney will prepare all the necessary documents in your favour.There are a reward for this project and it is a task well worth undertaking.

There is no risk involved at all in this matter, I have evaluated the risks and the only risk I have here is for you refusing to work with me and alerting my bank. I am the only one who knows of this situation, good fortune has blessed you with a name that has planted you into the center of
relevance in my life.

Please endeavor to observe utmost discretion in all matters concerning this issue. Once the funds have been transferred to your nominated bank account we shall share in the ratio of 70% for me, 30% for you but this can be subjected to further negotiations. I send you this mail not
without a measure of fear as to what the consequences, but I know within me
that nothing ventured is nothing gained and that success and riches never come easy or on a platter of gold. Please observe this
instruction religiously.

Should you be interested please send me your,
1. Full names,
2. Private phone number,
3. Current residential address,

And finally after that I shall furnish you with more information about this operation.
Your earliest response to this letter will be appreciated.

Kind Regards
Mr.Chen Guangyuan.

—- My Response
Thank you for contacting me. Your offer intrigues me. We, at the Lost Jedi group, are most attracted to opportunities where we can help those in need. However, we are a highly strict society, abiding by all laws and traditions of Jedism. We would gladly break into a terrorist camp and slay everyone inside to rescue a captive boy wanting to go back to his mother but we can not operate so freely in civilized society for we must abide by their laws.

I will bring up your plight with our local Jedi council and ask for their advice on the matter. For now, I suggest you compile a fair argument in your favour since what you are suggesting is in contrast with local regulations. To understand the situation further, and to avoid unbalancing the Force, we must know why we should work in correspondence with your interests in the matter.

May the Force be with you.

מעניין אם הוא יגיב…

Posted in No Category by Eran with 5 comments.